his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
