Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
i already hear my dad disowning me
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
worst night to have a conscience
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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