My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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