i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
