at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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