unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize