I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
