And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
