just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Ladies don't puke and tell
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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