I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Randomize
