Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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