We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Randomize
