I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
