somebody snuck up and got me drunk
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
