I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
It's official drugs can't kill me
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
