...so i touched it.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
