At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize
