Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
