Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Randomize
