Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
