I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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