Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
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