Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Two words: nipple clamps
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