I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
