i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize