It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
