so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
