Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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