i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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