McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
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