You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Randomize
