I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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