Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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