Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
