Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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