told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
