I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
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