Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
