Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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