CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
