it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Text me some of your sweat
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
