I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Randomize
