no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
meet me or not, i'm out of control
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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