I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
