Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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