All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
last night I used snow as a chaser
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
