dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
