You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
