Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
