I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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