nut hugger
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
