Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
