do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
