Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
