how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Randomize
