it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Randomize
