Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
We don't watch enough power rangers
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Randomize
