Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
my being single is dangerous.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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