Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Randomize
