Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
