Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
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