if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Come share oat with me in your robe
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize
