I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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