I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
