shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
