It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
