At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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