I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Randomize
