Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
