She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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