Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
Do you still have your period?
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
