bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
