did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
PS: I just woke up from my shower
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
