Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
