i jhust puked up my retainher.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize
