somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
We smell like vodka and hangover
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
