she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
