Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
He uses pillows to masturbate.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
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