i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
