took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
