I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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